It seems that there is a network of implements working against the human race. To begin with, we had The Handle; a cruel instrument of inconvenience, desperately fighting against the schedules of innocent schoolgirls. When The Handle was finally “taken down,” all thought that the battle was over. How wrong this thought was. After about a week of calm, came the confirmation that It was not yet over. After a week, came: the Amazing Leaping Straw. This was not a solitary agent, no doubt, countless other people have experienced attack from this plastic platoon – there you are, innocently ordering a drink, only to find that, upon its arrival the straw is trying to escape! Not only this however, while on its way out, it’s doing it’s utmost to Splash You. No matter how much you push it back down, the combination of the strong willed Leaping Straw, and laws of Physics and buoyancy will keep attempting to defy you. The only alternative to giving up is to chug half the glass, or wait for the ice to melt, and so dilute the fizzyness of the drink. This is EXACTLY what the straw wants. There is no escaping the wrath of Inanimate Objects.
Stand Strong: There is a possibility of victory! We cannot let them win.