Where has all the Butter gone?

One day, maybe I will have spent the past week building a house, or something else along those lines, so then I can feel justified in saying, both literally and metaphorically: “It’s been a riveting week.” But, seeing as this hasn’t been the case, I just won’t say anything on the matter. Infact, I’m going to say nothing whatsoever…

…except for all this.

These past seven days haven’t been a proper week anyway, mainly because we didn’t have an assembly! Instead, there was a split double, the best kind, in which you have a lesson, escape, and then, like an iron filing with your domains lining up, there you are, pressed against a piece of projection paper, being clutched by a permanent magnet. (you can never take a metaphor too far) Annoying.

So, this leads me to remember something. Something strange, mysterious, puzzling, and most of all… irksome! The way things seem to miraculously disappear, then appear again.

This has happened many times in my life. You’ll have something. You’ll know exactly where it is. There is no question that it will not be there when you look for it, because there’s nowhere else it could possibly be. So why is it that the moment that you need it, it will be as though the object in question has ceased to exist? It’s just illogical.

Take for example one such occasion which happened in the not so distant past. On this day, we were young, naieve, and on the cusp of Darcyism. Some others and I were out for lunch, and were called upon to go and order our drinks. Simple enough. We went forward in a huddled mass, and one by one in varying levels of confidence, 0 being me, and 10 being able to order coherently, we stated what we wanted. I was rewarded with a glass containing a straw which I then set down at our empty table. I stood some more, then, upon receiving my drink/corrosive, went back to the table.

Egads! The straw was gone!!! Thoughts whizzed through my mind: it could have nowt to do with leaping straws and their comrades, as it is common knowledge that they need a liquid and buoyancy to assist them. So, maybe someone had brushed past it, and the straw had fallen onto the floor? Despite looking all around, the straw was nowhere to be seen!!! Had it “crossed the boundary?” or had some stingy, straw deprived soul, nicked it from my glass? Whatever the case, it was gone.

However, a new straw was employed, and crisis averted, recovery from the appaling shock had started. But then, this strange day took another unexpected turn…

There was a bread basket, as logic follows, and with it were those little packets of butter. I’d taken mine, coated my bread with half of the contents, then, like a fool, looked away for one moment. Biiiig mistake. I turned around, looked next to the plate and discovered: THE BUTTER HAD GONE! Shock, disbelief, and bewilderment was soon quashed by pizza. The episode had been all but forgotten about, when, suddenly, the butter resurfaced stuck to the back of a birthday present…GAH!

Anyways, so now I hope that if any of you see any mysterious, stealthy, long coated people literally “grasping at straws” you’ll know what lies in store for those who do not watch their empty glasses…

“I have four words which will change our lives forever!” “The cloud is accelerating!!!” – Fantastic Four



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22 responses to “Where has all the Butter gone?

  1. sez

    hahaha, oh that was a very amusing event indeed… i was thinking, maybe straws have mutated [you know how they do that so that they get better?] so that they don’t need a liquid and buoyancy anymore? it is a possibility…

  2. the boundary looks like a brick wall from “their” side, with holes in it that need stiching….DNA made a word for things that dissapear when u need them when they can’t possibly dissapear. And for when you walk into a room and forget why/what you walked in there for…

  3. hi…..are we going to meet up sometime soon? I haven’t seen u in forever and at seymour u didn’t seem to want to talk to me. soooo….. go out for food some week end? SAY YES!!!!!!luve the pirate queen

  4. Sarah: Thats a very good, and potentially frightening point! We have to get PAIOC onto it immediately!!! MT: Wow, I made that reference sound in the knowledge that noone would get it! I can’t remember the name of those books anymore…was if Finder’s Keepers, and then there was one after it? Chris: I did talk to you! Anyways, how about after exams or in the holidays?

  5. CJ

    PAIOC hehehe i didnt read half ur blog sorry ill go back and read it later.. im kinda half illiterate right now… everythings melding on the screen…lol neways one thing i did pick up on was the word IRKSOME ehehehe

  6. Hey Elizabeth,That was rather a hilarious turn of events with the butter…I had not however, heard about the straw….most mysterious indeed. We have to watch the fantastic four again and all c HARRY POTTER!!!!!!! I am so excited, as is to be expected….anyways, gr8 post and I’ll c ya 2moro:)luv lots, Ellen:)xoxox

  7. yes it was Finders Keepers, and I can’t remember the second one… CJ, it’s in the Library at school – find it 4 us (u sound/write drunk by the way! yay! lol!)!

  8. CJ

    me write drunk never… well maybe only slightly… heheh neways umm wat am i looking for in the library??? im so confused… yay… talk to me later

  9. find the book called finders keepers, find out who wrote it, and find the sequal to it!

  10. cool, I think it’s an Australian author. The librarian introduced it to us in one of those things where they explain a number of books, but inevitably one book in particular unfortunately appeals to everybody… as the talk progresses, you can actually see people tensing as they prepare to make what they see as a subtle, but firm dive to the table and come out victorious and holding “The Book” after the scrum…in the interum, all the people sitting near the table are surrepticiously sliding closer and closer…hmm…I’m going off on a tangent..at least it’s not a normal! Because then everything would start to get very perpendicular…

  11. CJ

    wat i got lost in elizabeths ranting…

  12. I don’t rant! …I just bumble around without a point sometimes…

  13. I prefer to mumble incoherently and then when someone says “What” I should “Bumblebee” and try to eat their shins…. But I agree that the edging and sliding and subtle grabbing does take place, especially when there is a HP book that’s just come out!

  14. CJ

    how did u get teh counter thingo thats awesome lol! i want one… ill try and find the author and the second book for u too

  15. I’ll send you a link later. Oh, I found out that the author is Emily Rodda, and the sequel is called “The Timekeeper.” ..they only had it in the js library here though lol

  16. I’ve never met anyone who has read that book apart from me! lol!In fact, I still havent, as I havent met u…. meh, technicallities are painful… kinda like razor-wire.

  17. Yeah, it’s a good book! Everyone should read it!!! Incidentally, it is by the same author who wrote the “Teen Power Inc.” series…also good books.

  18. CJ

    iv read the book u idiot lol i just never told u haha i loved it and i also saw the video of coth of them lol ahahaa so so good

  19. I remember those!!! I never got to read the last one though, Rowan and the Zebak? Something like that. Hmm…this is starting to turn into a sort of across country bookclub CJ and MT…

  20. CJ

    lol damn straight elizabeth

  21. CJ

    ppl im bored right more stuff… grr im goin to write a post… damn u all..ps elizabeth call me after 8:30 SA time tonite..

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